5 myths about newborn sleep
By Katie Cortés
Where do newborn sleep myths come from? Sadly, many of them come from unscrupulous sections of the sleep industry and formula companies. Appealing to the fears of exhausted parents is a successful marketing ploy; parents who are already anxious, confused, and exhausted are particularly vulnerable to that messaging.
So how do we combat these myths? Understanding the scientific evidence is the key. There’s a lot of data to explain why and how newborns sleep the way they do. Let’s unpack some of the most pervasive newborn sleep myths, starting with one you’ve probably heard a dozen times…
Myth #1: “Holding your baby all the time will spoil them”
Often, people have the impression that if you hold your baby too much, you will make them clingy and you’ll never be able to put them down again.
Research shows that the opposite is true. Babies are more likely to become independent and free-roaming when they have a secure base with their caregivers. Skin-to-skin contact helps babies feel brave and inquisitive rather than fearful or anxious.
In addition to helping babies feel more secure, touch has many other benefits.
Skin-to-skin contact regulates breathing, optimises energy use and promotes physical growth.
Close nurture can impact babies on a cellular level, influencing systems as delicate as immunity and metabolism. Early physical affection plays a role in a child's neurological development and has the potential to protect against future emotional and physical illness.
To sum up: holding babies is good. Don't worry about it.
Myth #2: “Your newborn is manipulating you”
Some people tell new parents that their baby is “manipulating” them by crying.
Newborns can't manipulate anyone. They can't even control their arms, let alone other people.
So why do newborns cry? Crying simply indicates a need, which might be physical, emotional, or sensory. Once the need is met, the crying stops.
Parental attention and responsiveness are key predictors of a child’s secure attachment to their parents. The more promptly a caregiver responds to a baby’s need, the more likely the child will have a secure attachment.
Interestingly, excessive crying in babies can affect how parents feel about their performance in their parenting roles. It’s not helpful to suggest that parents let their babies cry because it just makes parents feel rubbish. It's demoralising, it's stressful, and it's been linked to adult depression too.
Leaving babies to cry is not good for parents or babies.
Myth #3: “Feeding to sleep is a bad habit”
As a sleep consultant, many clients come to me with this concern. Someone has told them it's a bad habit, but when we explore it further, it turns out it’s not a problem.
I put their minds at rest by explaining that sleepy hormones, including cholecystokinin, are released in both mother and baby during breastfeeding. These hormones flow back and forth during breastfeeding, so both mothers and babies feel sleepy after a feed. We do not need to question or fight against this; it is perfectly normal.
Parents can change their approach anytime if something no longer works. As your baby grows older, you might discover that feeding your baby to sleep takes a lot of time out of your day. Maybe you are feeling touched out. Perhaps you want someone else to put the baby to sleep. If and when feeding to sleep becomes a problem, you can explore other options. But don’t assume it’s a problem if it’s not currently causing any distress.
It’s okay, particularly in these younger months, to do what works while it works. We’re recovering from birth. The babies are getting used to being here. Why on earth would we make life harder for ourselves when feeding each other to sleep is so simple?
There is plenty of time to make changes later, when your client knows their baby better and the baby will have found other ways of soothing itself.
Myth #4: “Babies need long naps, or their brains won’t develop properly”
Parents may have heard that poor sleep can impact little ones from a neurological and behavioural perspective and they worry when their newborns only have short naps.
However, studies on sleep's impact on behaviour and brain development were done on older children. What parents may have heard isn't relevant to newborns. If you’re a postpartum professional supporting a parent with a catnapping newborn, it’s worth letting the parent know about this distinction.
Toddlers and preschoolers generally take long naps because they need them for cognition, problem-solving, and memory retention. Their stage of development requires longer stretches of sleep, whereas a newborn's stage doesn't.
On the other hand, babies sleep a lot over 24 hours. It’s typical for newborns to sleep 16-18 hours a day, broken up into short chunks. Their fragmented sleep may give the impression that they're unsettled sleepers, but they usually get all the sleep they need throughout the day.
There’s a wide variation in what's considered normal in terms of sleep amounts for newborns. It can be reassuring for parents to know that this wide variation is probably just nature's design, rather than something the parents are doing wrong.
Short sleep cycles, minimal deep sleep, and frequent night waking are all protective against sudden infant death syndrome. Rousing and re-oxygenating are also great for a baby's well-being. If you work with newborn parents, this information can be helpful to share with your clients.
Myth #5: “Co-sleeping kills babies”
This myth has been drummed into parents for the last few decades.
Practice and recommendations are slowly changing now that we have evidence that bed sharing can lead to positive and even protective outcomes for our little ones. This is particularly true when it is practised safely in the context of exclusive breastfeeding.
It can be dangerous to tell people, “Don’t bedshare—end of discussion!” This closes the conversation and misses the opportunity to promote safer sleeping, which can lead to parents bedsharing or co-sleeping in unsafe ways. On the other hand, when people are educated on the pros and cons of co-sleeping and understand how to prepare their spaces for safer sleep, they can make decisions that are right for their families.
As postpartum professionals, we must provide parents with science-based information rather than tell them what to do.
For high-quality resources you can share with your clients, check out this post: A giant resource list for safe infant sleep
About Katie
Katie teaches the module on sleep in our Postpartum Education and Care Professional training. She is a registered midwife and certified infant sleep consultant who believes in coaxing a love of sleep, through attachment, honesty, respect & fun. Katie balances the value of attachment parenting practices, breastfeeding, baby-wearing and co-sleeping, with mindful respect that each family has their own unique aims, challenges and priorities for a good night’s rest. She has supported countless families, guiding them through the various stages of achieving better sleep for their babies while gaining confidence in their own happy styles of parenting.
Listen to Katie on the Newborn Mothers podcast:
Curious about the Sleep Module in the Postpartum Education and Care Professional training? Download the curriculum here.
