How to help new parents get more sleep
By Katie Cortés
Parent’s sleep often suffers during the early weeks and months of having a new baby. Postpartum sleep deprivation feels like it's just part of the territory. Maybe you’ve even heard people joke to pregnant people: “Enjoy your sleep…while you can!”
However, sleep deprivation is no joke and can be harmful for new parents. Sleep quality significantly influences emotional health and well-being—even more than other essential factors like diet or exercise.
For overwhelmed new parents, getting more sleep might feel like another task on their to-do list. Here are some practical strategies for supporting your clients to get more sleep without adding extra pressure.
Set realistic expectations
It is essential to start with realistic expectations and educate your clients on what normal infant sleep looks like. Many parents feel pressured to make changes to their baby's sleep when there might be nothing wrong with the baby’s sleep to begin with. Newborns naturally have different sleep patterns and needs than adults.
Learn more: 5 myths about newborn sleep
Take shifts with another carer at night
Taking shifts is a good option if there's a partner on the scene (or a parent, friend, or other relative). Even when one parent is exclusively breastfeeding, the non-feeding parent can still take a shift in changing nappies, burping, resettling, and passing the baby to the other parent to feed.
Rather than taking turns each time the baby wakes up, I suggest that each person take half a night's shift because having a longer stretch of solid sleep is much more restorative. A 4-hour consolidated block of sleep or more is recommended for optimal emotional health of new mothers.
At the same time, a sleep strategy must not sabotage a client's breastfeeding goals. We don't want to suggest giving a bottle or formula, as that may impact the breastfeeding parent’s supply. However, resettling the baby is often the most significant part of night parenting, and the non-breastfeeding parent can help.
Consider co-sleeping
There are many variations of co-sleeping, bed sharing and room sharing. Sleeping within arm’s reach of your baby means the parent need not fully wake to exchange small subconscious acts of reassurance. If a parent prefers not to co-sleep, they could still pull the cot right up alongside the bed so they can reach the baby at night.
Co-sleeping for just one daytime nap can also be a nice option. It can be restorative for mum, and it can also encourage baby to nap longer if they need to.
Establish healthy circadian rhythms
Establishing healthy circadian rhythms is excellent for optimising sleep. Broad-spectrum daylight helps to produce the feel-good hormone serotonin and supports circadian rhythms.
If possible, suggest your clients get plenty of daylight and fresh air during the day and keep the lights low at nighttime.
Exercise reduces daytime sleepiness and improves nighttime sleep quality. Once your clients feel ready, encourage them to take a gentle daily walk.
Find a gentle routine or rhythm
It’s not necessary to contrive a routine for a newborn, but some adults may like to have a routine for themselves.
One of the simplest first steps is to begin the day at roughly the same time each morning so the baby does not sleep in one day and get up early the next. Sometimes, things can become more predictable from there. If this is a challenge, let it go and try again in a few weeks.
Evening rituals can create comfort and predictability in an otherwise chaotic time of day when you have a baby. They can also help adults wind down in the evening, relax, and hopefully get a bit more sleep.
Minimise blue light
Blue light from phones or other screens mimics daylight and prevents the production of the sleepy hormone melatonin, which impacts sleep onset and quality. Turn off screens like TVs, phones, laptops and tablets two hours before bedtime and get some books, magazines, audiobooks or podcasts instead.
If it’s too difficult to turn off screens entirely, another option is to adjust the brightness and display settings to minimise blue light.
Power nap
As a long-term night shift worker, this is one of my favourite tips. I fully believe in the power of power naps!
Research shows that when we physically rest our bodies with our eyes closed, we often enter the first stages of sleep despite feeling fully awake. People who say they can't possibly sleep in the day might be pleasantly surprised when they try this.
Another helpful little snippet to share with new parents is that when we are significantly sleep-deprived, our bodies compensate by making short sleeps more restorative.
If you struggle to nap, get some tips here: How to nap
Do things that bring peace and joy
Encourage your clients to do things that give them a sense of purpose and meaning. For me, that's gardening, baking, listening to music or reading. Others may seek out very different activities — it’s very individualised.
For many people, cuddling the baby is a great way to get relaxing love hormones flowing. Others may feel touched out and need a break.
Different things may work at different times, the key is to check in with yourself and ask, “What would bring me peace and joy in this moment?”
Surround the client with supportive people
Encourage new parents to catch up with friends who give them energy, or who can care for the baby while the parents get some rest. At other times they may need to back away from socialising altogether if they find it draining.
Help your client access trustworthy information
Ensure that your client has access to trustworthy information about infant sleep from reputable sources.
Where do you find these reputable sources? Don’t worry, we’ve done it for you — click the link below.
Read more: A giant resource list for safe infant sleep
About Katie
Katie teaches the module on sleep in our Postpartum Education and Care Professional training. She is a registered midwife and certified infant sleep consultant who believes in coaxing a love of sleep, through attachment, honesty, respect & fun. Katie balances the value of attachment parenting practices, breastfeeding, baby-wearing and co-sleeping, with mindful respect that each family has their own unique aims, challenges and priorities for a good night’s rest. She has supported countless families, guiding them through the various stages of achieving better sleep for their babies while gaining confidence in their own happy styles of parenting.
Listen to Katie on the Newborn Mothers podcast:
Curious about the Sleep Module in the Postpartum Education and Care Professional training? Download the curriculum here.
