Podcast Episode 83- Practising simplicity by starting where we are
Interview with Jodi Wilson
I chat with Jodi Wilson, author of 'Practising Simplicity' and co-author with Sophie Walker of their upcoming book 'The Complete Australian Guide to Pregnancy and Birth'. Together we discuss Jodi's life changing trip caravanning around Australia with four kids for two years, and how this has shaped her practice of simplicity. At the core of this conversation is asking the questions, "What is sustainable for me as a mother and a woman?" and "How can I make choices in my life to make sure that I am enjoying the life I'm living?"
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About Jodi
Jodi Wilson is an author, photographer, prenatal yoga teacher and mother of four. In 2018 her family sold all their belongings and travelled to Australia in a caravan for over two years. Her first book "Practising Simplicity - small steps and brave choices for a life less distracted" details the lessons she learnt on the road. Together with Sophie Walker from the Australia Birth Stories podcast, she has co-authored "The Complete Australian Guide to Pregnancy and Birth" which will be published by Murdoch Books in February 2023. You can find her on Instagram where she regularly shares suggestions for practising simplicity - @practisingsimplicity
We explore the following questions:
How did the call to simplicity lead you to caravan around Australia with 4 kids for two years?
How was the reality of van life in comparison to assumptions about it?
How did your motherhood responsibilities shift towards getting back to basics?
What does practising simplicity in motherhood look like in this busy time?
How does nature draw us into practising simplicity?
What does your life look like after going on a life-changing trip?
Why is it important to honour the season you are in?
What is your book Practising Simplicity about?
Additional resources we spoke about:
Buy The Complete Australian Guide to Pregnancy and Birth
Fellow caravaner - Podcast episode 33: Creating a Sleep Business
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Transcript
Julia Jones:
Hello, and welcome to Newborn Mothers Podcast. Today, I'm interviewing Jodi Wilson, who is an author of two books now, a photographer, a prenatal yoga teacher, and she has four children. A few years ago, Jodi sold all of their belongings, and jumped into a caravan, and travelled around Australia for two years. I did personally a six-month trip around... not the whole of Australia, just WA and the Northern Territory last year. So I know what an amazing and life-changing experience that is. I also have another student who I've interviewed on the podcast who did a similar thing and end up quitting her job in midwifery, and now works as a sleep consultant. Her name is Katie, and you can find her podcast too. So this seems to be a little bit of a theme, and Jodi, from what I understand, what came out of that trip for you and your family was practising simplicity. Do you want to introduce yourself before we go into the nuts and bolts of that journey?
How did the call to simplicity lead you to caravan around Australia with 4 kids for two years? ( 1:28)
Jodi Wilson:
Yeah. So, in 2017, it was. I had four children at that stage, and I opened my book, Practising Simplicity, by discussing a scene where my eldest child, my firstborn was on the stage doing a play based on Alison Lester's picture book, Are We There Yet? which is the story of her three-month family road trip around the country, around the eastern side of Australia. My fourth child was 11 weeks old at the time, and she was in a sling on my chest. It felt like there was a very distinct timeline laid out in front of me, and I thought, "Gosh, it really doesn't feel like 10 years ago it was my firstborn that was on my chest, and now he's on the stage."
At the time, and I can only see this in retrospect, I was a very anxious, overwhelmed mother of four, and I was just very blindsided by just the intensity of the day-to-day of driving children to preschool and to school, and juggling housework with a partner that commuted to Sydney a few times a week. We were living in New South Wales at the time, and I was a freelance writer. I just remembered that every day was an immense juggle, and I was anxious to the point of being quite agitated and angry. I realized that we had to do a 180-flip in our life, and I've been blogging at that stage for 10 years, so I was doing a lot of writing online about motherhood and about practising simplicity because I like to think of simplicity, I suppose, as not an aesthetic, and I think that sometimes that whole living simply, simple aesthetic is quite... It's been hijacked a bit by linen curtains and minimalist interiors. But for me, simplicity is actually the choices that I make every day and how they affect my life.
At that stage of my life, just the immense struggle of four children, and living in suburbia, and just the intensity of it all, I thought, "I don't want to keep living like this." So when we were in the theatre watching our son's performance, my partner turned to me and said, "We could do that. We could do that road trip around Australia in a caravan." We'd never caravanned or camped before, and it was like my consciousness got in... or my intuition got in before my consciousness did because I just said yes.
Eight months later to the day we drove out of our rental property towing a 24-foot caravan and everything that we needed for the two years following that was in that caravan, and it changed our life in the most immense and minute ways. Now, we live in Tasmania. My eldest is 15, and my youngest is 5. For the past few years, I've been writing two books. So the first one is Practising Simplicity: Small Steps and Brave Choices for a Life Less Distracted, and the second one, I've co-written with Sophie Walker from the Australian Birth Stories Podcast. So I work alongside Sophie on the podcast, and that book is The Complete Australian Guide to Pregnancy and Birth, which will be released in January 2023.
Julia Jones:
Amazing. I think it takes a lot of courage to do that complete 180 on your life. I always love hearing those stories, but I also think you're right that it is that intuition over consciousness because perhaps if you thought about it, you wouldn't do it.
Jodi Wilson:
Oh, look, and I totally... Every day following that day that we made the decision, I did not want to do it, and it would've been so much easier not to do it, but packing up a three-bedroom house full of stuff and selling 80% of what you owned is not an easy transition to make, but I knew in my heart... I think intuition is very, very powerful. We hear it a lot in the birth and pregnancy, and the early motherhood world that mom knows best. When we hear that saying and when midwives use that saying, they're saying that we trust in a mother's intuition, in her gut reaction.
For me personally, when I am very, very anxious, I can't access my intuition as clearly as I can when I'm not anxious. So that's one thing that I've learned on this journey, but I also knew... It was just this all-encompassing truth that I could see myself as an 80-year-old woman looking back on my life, and I knew with every cell of my being that I would regret not going on this trip. If we didn't do it, I would just regret it, and I didn't want to have that regret. I felt like even though it was the hardest thing I've ever done, I knew it was going to be beneficial, so.
How was the reality of van life in comparison to assumptions about it? (7:07)
Julia Jones:
Yeah. I think understanding that it's hard... I mean, this is a bit like the simplicity being hijacked by consumerism, but so is van life. I think there's a bit of a van life thing that freedom and no responsibility...
Jodi Wilson:
It's hard work.
Julia Jones:
It's really hard being on the road.
Jodi Wilson:
Yeah, and as I say in my book, no matter how or where we live, there's the work of life. There's no escaping it, and there's that beautiful Zen Buddhist quote, "Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water." So regardless of what stage of life we're at and regardless of how enlightened we are, there's still going to be the water to carry and the wood to chop. It's such a beautiful reminder in motherhood I think that regardless of how old our children are, regardless of what's happening in our everyday life, there's still the dishes, and the washing, and the mess on the floor. I think it's those things that really prove that we are all just living life and none of us are free of those daily chores.
Julia Jones:
Yes. Absolutely. So when I was a child, my parents took us out of school for a year, and we travelled around Europe in a camper van because that's where my family was from.
Jodi Wilson:
Oh, amazing.
Julia Jones:
I remember my mom telling me only many years later when I was a mom myself, she said... Actually, the first night of that trip was in Bali. We got a round-the-world ticket, so on the flight, we had a little time in Bali and a few places on the way through Europe. The first night in Bali, we were lying on this lumpy mattress and a thatched roof. Bali, was way different back then than it is now. There were geckos, mice, crickets, and mosquitoes. She honestly thought on our very first night, "I think I've made the biggest mistake of my life."
Jodi Wilson:
I totally understand what she's feeling. Yeah.
How did your motherhood responsibilities shift towards getting back to basics? (09:06)
Julia Jones:
Yeah, and obviously, she didn't. I mean, I look back as on that year as one of the best things I ever did in my whole childhood. So there's also that load of mothers that whether you're on an amazing, life-changing holiday, you're still a mom, and you've still got all of those accompanying responsibilities and stress, so.
Jodi Wilson:
Yeah. I felt like me, and I do write about this in the book, and I remember it so clearly that there was an afternoon. I think we were probably about four weeks into the trip, and I just remember that I realized that I could close so many mental tabs. I could close the school newsletter tab, and the afterschool activity tab, and the weekend obligation tab. It just felt so free, and I remember being in that moment thinking, "Hold onto what this feels like," because I knew that there would be a time in the future when we would go back to a normal life of living in a house and the children going to school. I really wanted to remember that I didn't want to go back to a life that was full of obligations and plans because it felt so good to be free of them.
So far, we're very much honoured that, but that weight of responsibility that comes with motherhood, and keeping the tabs on everyone, and making sure that when you're travelling rurally that you've got enough food with you and that you've got enough water on board, and it's like your responsibility shifts. So I wasn't thinking about a house. I wasn't thinking about water when we lived in a house because it just came out of the tap. But when you're travelling rurally, and you don't have access to water, and you've only got 180 litres on board, you've got to be very mindful of how you use that water.
It was stuff like that that really empowered and enlivened me because when we were focusing on the very small things like, "Did we have enough energy coming through the solar panels, and did we have enough water? Did we have enough food to last us a week so that we didn't have to leave the free camp we were in?" that kind of allowed us to realize how amazing fresh water is, and being able to cook an amazing meal with the basics, and not just running to the shop out of convenience. I suppose it was those simple things, which are really getting back to basics that proved to me that we can live so well with so little.
Julia Jones:
Yes, and I think we live in a world that's so detached. So many of the tasks we do are not in a tangible way related to our daily well-being. So getting down to that level of eating, drinking, sleeping, it really sometimes feels so grounding and real to do that.
Jodi Wilson:
Definitely.
What does practising simplicity in motherhood look like in this busy time? (12:10)
Julia Jones:
So I've noticed myself in the last year or so as we sort come through the other side of the pandemic that things are getting really busy again, and I hear a lot of families saying... There's a good size, obviously, to do that, but the stress of then having now so many birthday parties, weddings, interstate travel, and afterschool activities, and it just feels like the world is speeding up again. Are you noticing that people are, again, being drawn back to this practising simplicity as we go into this busy life again?
Jodi Wilson:
Yeah. Absolutely. I feel like the social climate at the moment is that we've come out of the uncertainty of this pandemic, and we're expected to forget it all and just keep running on with life. We do live in a culture that's productivity-driven. That's a consumerist culture. The social media culture is wanting more and buying more. That's what we're seeing every day, but the cost of living is a major concern for families. Every Sunday, on my Instagram page, I started this thing in March this year where every Sunday, I just share five ways to practice simplicity, which are really actionable, easy-to-implement suggestions that you can practice simplicity in your day-to-day because I think it is about starting where you are with what you have and not selling 80% of what you own and living in a caravan.
There's a beautiful quote by the writer Annie Dillard, and she says, "How we spend our days is how we spend our lives." So, the question is, do you want to be running around overwhelmed, your life dictated by plans and obligations, constantly chasing, constantly stressing, constantly buying, or do you want to step down a few notches and just consciously say, "Actually, I need to do what's sustainable for me as a mother and a woman," and make choices in your life to make sure that you are actually enjoying the life that you're living?
I think it's really pertinent for mothers with young children especially because from a very young age, we're encouraged to take our children to all the different activities and to do all the things, and we can't. It's not sustainable for us mentally, physically, and emotionally as mothers, and I think sometimes just really taking small steps every day to practice simplicity, which could be setting the timer on your phone and doing a 15-minute speed clean, and then leaving it, and being okay with the fact that it's not finished because none of us is living in Instagram-perfect homes. They don't exist, and I think that's a really good reminder.
It could be just making sure that the washing is in the washing machine the night before so that you can set the timer or it can all be done by 7:00 AM the next morning. Sometimes it's looking at all the wilting vegetables in your fridge and going, "I really should use those up, but I just do not have the energy to cook tonight and to preserve my emotional well-being, I'm going to order takeaway." So, sometimes it's choosing the easy option.
How does nature draw us into practising simplicity? (16:01)
I think practising simplicity is also about really getting grounded. For me, on the road, and I talk about this a lot in the book, it was about really connecting my body, my physical body with nature. That may just be being barefoot on the grass in your backyard or just stepping out of an evening once the children are in bed, and just looking at the night sky, and being very present in that moment because for me, being in nature and being really immersed in nature was a salve for my anxiety and overwhelm that nothing else has come close to being as powerful as what it was because when you live in a caravan, you naturally gravitate outside for space, and light, and air.
I never anticipated this about our trip, but I was spending 10 to 12 hours a day outside, and it really did settle my mind and my body, which was really, really powerful. Yeah, those five ways to practice simplicity that I share every Sunday afternoon on my Instagram page are so... Mothers and women are resonating with them so much, and I think it's just good to be reminded that it's the really simple small things that you do every day that can make such an enormous difference to your mindset and your wellbeing.
Julia Jones:
Yes. Absolutely, and I really wholeheartedly agree with you on that nature element as well. I think that's part of that grounding down to that most basic functions of eating, and sleeping, and drinking, and being in the elements is part of that. I found we were quite sometimes exhausted and a bit overwhelmed by the weather on our trip. We got evacuated from a cyclone. We've also been out on a road trip during bushfires. Although those things are terrible tragedies, there's also just the daily like, "Oh, dammit. It's raining, and we're stuck in 10 square meters all day," or, "Actually, we're all just going to put our raincoats on and go out anyway. Today was really hot, and there's no aircon." It's that daily... really connecting with your body and the sensations rather than just living in your brain and that stress state of modern life.
Jodi Wilson:
Yeah. Yeah, and I think it's... We are nature. We are nature just as much as a tree is nature. We forget that, and we forget that we go through seasons and we go through... We have our monthly cycles, but we also go through seasons just like the weather and the Earth goes through seasons. Recognizing when you're in a fallow season, which is where you really do need to rest and rejuvenate, is so powerful because it means that you do honor the way your body and your mind is feeling. It means that when spring comes around, when your metaphorical spring comes around, you are more energized.
I know you do beautiful work encouraging newborn mothers to really sink into their postpartum and rest, and that's such a major point in Sophie and my's book is to really consciously plan postpartum because I know from experience with my four children that I look back on early motherhood and those... The fact that I carved out three weeks after I had every baby to rest, and heal, and bond with my baby, they were the most precious moments of my life, those four times, three weeks postpartum. So I think it's such a beautiful gift to give women who are pregnant that permission and that deep understanding of how precious and healthy a very conscious postpartum is.
Julia Jones:
They're quite similar things, really, like the idea that you would regret not going on your road trip, and you would have these most precious memories of your postpartum times, but they're both things that are actually really difficult, but also so deeply transformative and rewarding, especially when you do have that support around you and even just that understanding of what it is that you're going through.
Jodi Wilson:
Yeah. Mm.
What does your life look like after going on a life-changing trip? (21:18)
Julia Jones:
So I'm curious a little bit too about... So you've told me a little bit about... You had four babies. You went on a road trip. What difference did that make in your daily life now that you obviously chose to settle in Tassie, not back in New South Wales? What does your life look like after going on a life-changing trip like that?
Jodi Wilson:
We just learnt that we could live so well with very little, and we knew that we didn't want to go back to a life that would cost us so much just to live our day-to-day life. We were from the central coasts just north of Sydney, and the house prices have gone insane like they have in so many parts of Australia. Even though I'd grown up there, I never really felt a strong sense of connection there. So, as soon as we landed in Tasmania, it was almost like I felt a very ancestral sense of belonging. I love the distinct seasons here, and I love the ability to really observe, and celebrate, and embrace those seasons in my own life. We could still afford a house here, which is something that we were really... That was one of our priorities, and we have since bought a house. So we bought a house in December last year, and we've been very conscious to not get too busy.
So my partner has been the stay-at-home dad. He's just been the one that's been here for the past two years while I've written two books. We've just, yeah, just been very, very conscious of not ever getting to a stage where I open my diary on a Sunday night to look at the week ahead and feel a sense of dread. I never want that in my life. I want to be able to see pockets, very visible pockets of time where I've got nothing planned. We've since welcomed a fifth child in. Well, not a child. Well, she is a bit of a child, but our dog, our puppy, Sandy. So, now, my partner and I, since about March this year, we get up at about 5:30 every morning and walk the beach with her.
It's such a beautiful practice, and it's something that I could never ever have seen myself doing when I... I co-slept and breastfed for two years all my babies, and I remember there being a point years ago where I was just like, "Gosh, it'd be so lovely to be able to get up in the morning and go for a walk," but I just cannot fathom how I could do that. Now, I'm in this season of life where my children are older, and we can leave them at home in the morning while we go walking. It's like our date night, really.
Julia Jones:
Oh, that's so lovely.
Jodi Wilson:
It's a morning thing, and it's so powerful for me to look back and think, "Gosh, it was only five years ago that I was like, 'Gosh, I really wish I could just go for a walk in the morning.' Now, this opportunity has opened up for me." I think that shows the power of following slightly older moms on Instagram or having moms with older children in your life, in your circle just to see that it's not going to be as intense as it is right now forever, but there will be a time in the future when your children are a little bit older and more independent, and there will be that space for you to do things, like go for a walk first thing in the morning.
Yeah, I did. I shared that on Instagram recently, and the response was so overwhelming because I think it's something that we all crave when we're deep in early motherhood and we're so consumed by the responsibility of breastfeeding around the clock and co-sleeping. Just the demands are so immense, but there will be space. There will be that space soon, and I think it's a lovely perspective to have.
Julia Jones:
Yeah. I love that. I'm curious. How old your youngest is?
Jodi Wilson:
She's five. She's five and a half. Yeah.
Julia Jones:
Yeah. I think that's a magical age. My youngest is six, and I feel the same that my life has opened up again.
Jodi Wilson:
Yes.
Julia Jones:
It's such an amazing feeling after over a decade of just being in it, every day in it, and same, having that feeling like I'm never going to not sleep in again. If I ever get a chance to sleep in my life, I will take it. Whereas now, I'm like, "Oh, actually, I actually have enough space in my life where I could choose to get up early, or stay up late, or go on a retreat, or work a little bit more, or exercise more," or whatever it is that I want to do. Yeah, it comes. It does happen eventually.
Why is it important to honour the season you are in? (26:41)
Jodi Wilson:
I think it's also just about honouring the season that you're in and not wishing for it to be any different or constantly striving just to be out of the season because... Honouring the season you're in is just a fancy way of saying be in the present moment like, "Be here now." Sometimes it's really damn hard to appreciate where you are, and sometimes you would give anything to be a little further down the track, but I think contentment comes when you really are in the present moment, honouring where you are, and being okay with that.
Julia Jones:
Yes. Absolutely. Yes. That's going to be different for everyone, but I think a really important life lesson. I think that's all my questions for you, Jodi. That was really beautiful. I'd like to hear a little bit more about your book and where people can find you.
What is your book Practising Simplicity about? (27:40)
Jodi Wilson:
Yeah. So, I'm @practisingsimplicity on Instagram, and my book, which is a little green hardcover is called Practising Simplicity, and it's available at all bookstores. There are also some links in my Instagram bio, and it's beautiful... It's got all my photography throughout it, and I wrote it to... You can read it from front to back, or you can just pick it up on any page. It's been really well-received, which has been so, so lovely, but I also designed it just to sit on your bedside table. So I was very clear with my publisher. I said, "I want a new mother to be able to be feeding her baby and to hold this book, and for it to sit nicely on a bedside table just so it can be picked up on a whim."
Yeah. I like to think it's a lovely gift book as well. So, with Christmas coming up, it might make it onto your wishlist. So, yeah. That's where you can find me, and also, my book with Australian Birth Stories with Sophie Walker is out in January. That is The Complete Australian Guide of Pregnancy and Birth. So it's a very thorough, comprehensive, accessible guide to birthing in Australia. We've started it at preconception and gone right through to early postpartum, and there is a beautiful quote from you in there, Julia, isn't there?
Julia Jones:
There is. Yes, and I did. I was lucky enough to be able to read one of the preview copies. We will have Sophie on the podcast to talk a little bit about that more soon as well. Thanks so much, Jodi. That's been really amazing to chat. You can find Jodi, @practisingsimplicity, on Instagram. We'll pop the links in the show notes, and so lovely to hear from you. You've inspired me with getting up every morning to go to the beach.
Jodi Wilson:
Thank you so much.
Julia Jones:
I definitely need to. We've just come out of winter here and quite a stressful winter for us as a family, but I'm ready, as we're in spring, to start getting into some nice routines again.
Jodi Wilson:
Yeah. It's a good habit.
Julia Jones:
It is. Thank you so much, and we'll chat again soon. Bye.
