What Mothers Do - A Celebration!
A client, a beautiful hardworking mother with a 5 month old baby, called me the other day, she was furious! She'd ask her husband to do the dishes after work and he said those dreaded words "What do you do all day?"
At the same time I posted this beautiful quote on Facebook from my favourite mothering book - What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing by Naomi Stadlen.
A person who has ‘tidied up’ has both the words and a tidy area to show for it. It is much harder to find a word that describes the giving-up-things mode of attention a mother is giving to her baby.”
Naomi Stadlen
As you can imagine that quote hit a chord with many mothers. We have possibly never experienced a time, in all of human history, where the hard work of motherhood is so poorly understood and respected.
Let’s reclaim the often silent and invisible work of motherhood. We seem to have this code of silence around the marvellous effort involved in raising a child. I feel there are four reasons for this:
1. You don’t share because you don't want to frighten or bore people without children,
2. You have this nagging feeling that maybe you are doing it all wrong, and that other people aren’t finding it this challenging,
3. You don’t want to be pitied or blamed,
4. You can’t offer an alternative to what is perceived as suffering.
So I am inviting you to break that code of silence. As a mother I want you to start talking about your struggle and your sheer human effort. It’s time we began to celebrate motherhood in all its messy madness!
An important part of this campaign is our attitude to our stories, we must speak from a place of courage and pride, not shame. Share what you do because you are proud of your effort and determination. Imagine that motherhood is like deciding to run a marathon, and share in the spirit of adventure.
As mothers, we are not looking for advice or pills or pity. We are looking for a round of applause! We are looking for some positive acknowledgment of the endless work we do, day in, day out. The sacrifices we make, and will continue to make for years to come. We love our children and give so much and we ought to celebrate that.
If your life sometimes feels impossible or you feel trapped or stuck or lost then take heart! Here your adventures will be met with amazement and awe. You are brave! Keep going! Don’t give up!