Podcast - Episode 15 - Newborn Mothers Audiobook - First Chapter
Welcome To This Extra Special Podcast!
In this episode, Julia Jones shares the first chapter of the new audiobook Newborn Mothers, When a Baby is Born, So is a Mother. The chapter introduces postpartum, the way we use language and the statistics of women experiencing postpartum depression. It details stories from Newborn Mothers, the duration of postpartum and the transformation to motherhood. Tune in to learn more on this and other exciting topics!
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What You Will Learn
[01:27] Dedication
The book is for you, Newborn Mother, written in appreciation of your efforts to raise healthy, happy children and create a better future, in recognition of all the invisible work you do, both internally and out in the world, every day and every night.
[02:11] About the book
The challenges we face as women on our journey to motherhood are complex, and we require solutions at many levels.
External barriers to our motherhood happiness include discrimination at work, gender bias in medicine and research, expensive and poor quality childcare and lack of paid parental leave. These changes need to happen at a more global level. That’s not what this book is about.
Newborn Mothers is for mothers who want to take action on an individual level in their own lives. As you expand your life in peace and joy, you are inviting other mothers to join you. Together we can create a new blueprint for motherhood.
This book is your invitation to join the renaissance of a more joyful, peaceful transformation to motherhood.
[03:20] A note on postpartum
Post means after, natal and partum both mean birth. Partum refers to the one giving birth, while natal refers to the being birthed.
Postnatal is most common in Australia, while the word postpartum is more common in the US.
Julia uses postpartum as she feels it more accurately reflects her mission to support mothers and remedy the gap she sees in our culture of care.
[04:25] Note on gender
The English language lacks gender-neutral pronouns at this time.
I love the word mother for its powerful feminine archetype and therefore refer to the birthing parent as she and, for clarity, I refer to the baby as he. I acknowledge that some readers may not identify with these genders and I hope that you can still find value in this book.
[04:50] They smile just in time
The only thing more lovable than a sleeping baby is a smiling baby, but here’s the catch: for your baby to learn to smile, you must also learn to smile.
[05:20] The numbers
One in seven women in Australia experience will experience postnatal depression; that’s is 48,400 women every year.
More than two-thirds of mothers don’t reach their breastfeeding goals. These goals are set by the mothers themselves who want to feed their baby but don't have the support they need.
Marriages suffer during the transition to parenthood. Conflict increases dramatically once a baby is introduced.
The leading cause of maternal death in Australia is suicide.
This is not a problem unique to Australia, with women and babies all over the world suffering.
[07:03] The start of something
Julia didn’t know the numbers when she started postpartum at 24 years old before she was a mother herself. Julia discovered postpartum work through her interest in Ayurveda, traditional Indian medicine. When she learned about Ayurvedic postpartum care, she knew postpartum care was her calling in life.
In the next few years, Julia studied five different postpartum doula trainings. She found that they didn’t dive deeper than practical information about baby care and breastfeeding. None of them really addressed how to support a newborn mother during this major life transition.
None of them acknowledged the deep and profound changes going on in a Newborn Mother’s brain, let alone how we, as professionals, could support them through it.
When she had her own first baby, Julia’s need to find answers became even more urgent. She started exploring postpartum from different perspectives, including her own background in social justice and community development. She dove into new areas of study, from anthropology to brain science, eventually pulling together a new paradigm for postpartum transformation.
[08:45] The faces
Julia received many emails from exhausted and overwhelmed mothers living all over the world. These are the faces behind the numbers, the individual Newborn Mothers who were suffering.
[9:11] The stories that the statistics don’t quite show:
Brie: “I have three children under four years old and certainly have gone through my share of desperation, depression and feelings of total failure. Motherhood has rocked my world.”
Julia heard how mothers felt exhausted, stretched thin or resentful.
Hearing so many women’s stories, Julia began to see patterns. Many mothers found ways to excuse their suffering, almost apologising that they were not enjoying motherhood, as though the problem was unique to them.
There are a million reasons why motherhood may be intense for you. The truth is, it’s intense for nearly all of us and surely this points to some broader cultural, systemic problem, not your individual circumstance.
[11:23] But these are the best days of your life
Any time you complain about any aspect of mothering, you are likely to be told to enjoy it. Retrospectively it may seem to pass in the blink of an eye, but while the years might fly by, the days are long and the nights are longer.
Many mothers need acknowledgement for their emotions and experience.
As a parent, the highs are higher than you ever experienced before you had children, but the lows are lower.
There is also more joy, peace and bliss. Your baby enjoying his first heart-melting giggle, watching your partner soothe your baby to sleep, savouring that rare, hot cup of tea alone. These are the moments that keep you going and refuel you till your next pitstop.
[13:18] How long is postpartum
Postpartum is generally recognised as the six weeks after birth.
Medicine, science and traditional culture around the world acknowledge that this is a unique time in a woman’s life, requiring specific care.
Since postpartum literally means after birth, you could consider a woman postpartum for the rest of her life.
Julia believes we should see postpartum in stages, unfolding in layers over time requiring emotional and practical support.
“There is no back to normal after you have a baby because becoming a mother alters the very structure of your brain and you will never be the same person you once were.”
When a baby is born, so is a mother. The birth of a mother can be more intense than childbirth.
[14:32] Postpartum does not equal depression.
Contrary to pop culture use, postpartum does not mean depression. Postpartum is the time after birth. Postpartum depression is the experience of depression during this time.
Sadly many women experience depression during this stage of their lives, so the word postpartum has become synonymous with depression.
Julia would like to see us reclaim postpartum to reflect its true meaning, an opportunity for profound personal transformation. This transformation can be positive or negative, largely depending on how your community supports or neglects Newborn Mothers.
[16:25] What is a Newborn Mother?
The process of becoming a mother is gradual, not abrupt. Julia uses the term Newborn Mother to reflect the state of profound transformation. No matter how long ago your baby was born or how many babies you have. You can feel like a Newborn Mother whether or not your baby is biologically related to you and whether or not you are actively mothering your child.
Becoming a Newborn Mother lasts for as long as you need to feel confident and strong. In general, Julia finds that the more loving support a Newborn Mother receives, the more quickly she can become confident and strong.
“A Newborn Mother is a recently born mother whose strength is asking for help. She acknowledges that the birth of the mother is more intense than childbirth and that she is as sensitive and vulnerable as her baby. Her heart is wide open and her needs are high. As she nourishes herself, she nourishes her children.”
[17:50] Transformation
There is no greater transformation than motherhood. Painful and powerful, it stretches you to your limits and beyond. Transformation involves re-birth, which also involves loss. There are deep internal shifts in ways of knowing and understanding the world around you.
“Motherhood truly changes you from the inside out.”
Newborn Mother’s Podcast
Welcome to this extra special podcast! I'm super excited today because I'm sharing the first chapter of my new audiobook Newborn Mothers, when a baby is born so is a mother. To get your copy of of the complete audiobook you need to purchase the ebook or the printed book and with it, you'll get instructions on how to download your free audiobook. You can buy the book at www.newbornmothers.com/books
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