How Long Is It Ok To Leave My Baby To Cry Alone?

Have you wondered this before? Have you tried leaving your baby to cry alone and felt guilty? Have you tried it and it worked and your baby learned to sleep and now you are doubting your decision? Or maybe you left your baby to cry alone and they fell asleep so easily and quickly you're wondering what all the fuss is about?


Many books and experts will prescribe set times that it is ok to leave your baby to cry. Some prescribe leaving your baby to cry alone for a set time, like 45 minutes. Others prescribe increasingly long intervals of crying between comforting.

Other books, experts and methods will tell you that leaving your baby to cry alone is traumatising and stressful, and I've even heard people say that leaving your baby to cry alone will give your baby brain damage.

Feeling confused and overwhelmed yet???

Here's The Truth

The truth is never black and white.

The truth is there is no one right answer to this question.

The truth is all babies are different. Your baby is 50% nature and 50% nurture. Scientists have discovered genes for stress resistance, insecurity and reaction to trauma. You can’t change these things any more than you can change your baby’s eye colour.

Some babies will learn to sleep quickly and easily, with very little stress. Other babies will cry for hours and hours and hours if you follow the same common "sleep training" method.

I Know That's Probably Not The Answer You Wanted To Hear.

I'd probably be much more popular if I told you I could guarantee that your baby will sleep perfectly if only you do x, y and z.

But the popularity would be short-lived because eventually, you'd figure out that all babies are different and what works for you doesn't work for another mum. And what worked for your first baby won't necessarily work for your second baby.

I'm Here To Help You Find What Works For You And Your Baby.

I’m not into sleep methods that promote leaving your baby to cry alone for a specific length of time.

I’m also not into ‘no-cry’ solutions since I realise that crying is a normal and healthy emotional response to a wide range of stimulus, including the stress of learning and practising a new skill.

If you are still reading I can tell you are an intelligent and intuitive mother. The way I work with sleep to support you emotionally on the roller coaster ride of motherhood. That way you have a full tank and you can be emotionally present with your baby whilst they are learning to sleep.

I'll walk the steps with you whilst you find your own unique path to sleep.

Frances MonterosoComment